Verywell / Zoe Hansen
The Distorted Perspective: Tying Self-Acceptance to External Benchmarks
Self-acceptance is a fundamental truth that seems to have been overshadowed by societal expectations. Every individual, except those who intentionally harm others, is inherently enough and deserving of love and happiness just as they are. This should be an unquestionable fact, but somehow it has become a radical notion in today’s society. It is essential to understand that one can be whole and complete in their current state while still striving for self-improvement.
On one hand, self-acceptance is about embracing and valuing oneself. However, it has also been distorted to suggest that true self-acceptance can only be achieved after reaching certain external benchmarks, such as accomplishing specific goals or acquiring specific qualities. This perspective has its flaws, as it places one’s self-worth solely on external validation rather than recognizing the inherent value of one’s existence.
According to therapist Russell Grieger (2013), unconditional self-acceptance is understanding that you are separate from your actions and your qualities. You accept that you have made mistakes and that you have flaws, but you do not let them define you.
“You accept that, as a fallible human being, you are less than perfect. You will often perform well, but you will also err at times… You always and unconditionally accept yourself without judgment”
(Grieger, 2013).
ourselves.
in romantic relationship, all of them impact our self-concept and how we
perceive ourselves as individuals. Life is too small to go hunting for it, we
need to stay still and create our true identity!
validating and nurturing – positive self-concept. “
Now if you want to conquer fear, sitting at home is not an option. Get going,
get busy and make the best out of your potential.
dismissive, harmful – negative self-concept.”
think! Your thoughts say it all. When we say that ‘it is the thought that
counts’ and when it’s filled with fatalistic opinions, then everything seems
like a mirage. Where life is a coaster, you might have spent several years
feeling as though you aren’t worthy of being happy. However, it is very
important to realize that ‘you are what you believe’, once this is done, a
sense of self-acceptance rolls in along with freedom and happiness.
CHILD’S SELF-CONCEPT
world. This is the time where parents play a key role to their development. The
kids who experience low self-esteem have gone through crummy parenting styles.
If significant people in your life repeatedly tell you that you are not good
enough, demanded more from you when you have tried your best or treated you in
ways that have left you feeling peripheral.
certain conditions. They need nurturing, attention and boundaries with reliable
care. In absence of these qualities, further as they grow up and face puzzling
circumstances, they will automatically tend to believe that they are not worthy
of love.
fabricated within them. It’s high time to stop taking responsibility for
other’s behavior and work towards accepting your real self- you are enough the
way you are!
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